What is in MY Big Fun Place?
I used to spend quite a bit of time drinking with friends at whatever crappy apartment I was living in at the time. Not anything extreme really, just the average pseudo-alcoholism that comes along with your typical college experience. Reflecting back on that period, I never really enjoyed it. The hangovers, the obvious toll it was taking on my health, not progressing in life the way I wanted. I did enjoy hanging out with the friends I made and we definitely made lasting memories. Drunk, disorderly, juvenile hijinks were no stranger to us. I guess what I’m trying to say is that boozing was something I did to fit in and try and enjoy my time from around age 18 on. It was not until well into my 30’s that I realized that not everyone lived this way and that I probably shouldn’t drink just because everyone else was doing it. In my defense, it can be pretty lonely to not want to go to the bar when your entire social circle revolves around it. Even to this day, the occasional after work beer with my co-workers is often the highlight of my week.
I stopped going to church after high school, and therefore did not have access to the (purportedly) wholesome social interaction that it provides. I sometimes envy the network that a religious group has however. Think about it, a huge group of people hanging out, singing; belonging. Before you fire off an angry email, please hear me out. I have nothing against religious people. I have plenty of friends that are dedicated believers, and often I find that they are the most fun people to be around. It is just not for me, (please don’t try to recruit me by the way, I am a man of science thank you very much.) In the past, many western cultures often centered around the church and it is undeniable that some of our social fabric is torn in its absence. This is a touchy subject for a lot of people, so I won’t dwell on it too much, but it is worth noting: I don’t get to make friends or have fun at church and that is a bit sad.
I don’t have a gym membership currently. I mean with Covid19, there are not many people who have a full blown gym experience these days anyway. Granted things are changing, but right now the interactive experience of going to a cycling or yoga class is not on the table. Even when I did go to the gym in the past, I could not help but feel like a total creeper if I ever dared talk to anyone. No, I prefer my workouts to be silent, self-flagellating experiences. I imagine confused sweaty people replying to me “I’m not here to make new friends, please stop creeping.” Perhaps this is just me projecting but it bears some truth. I can not stand the thought of being labeled a creeper, so the gym is out in terms of “fun.”
So what options do I have to meet people and have fun? The traditional routes are closed. Gym, Church, bar (Covid is just icing on the cake.) I’m glad to have my wonderful wife to hang out and talk with, otherwise I think I would have gone full-blown hermit over the last year. She and I made it through a very prolonged period of essentially total social isolation after moving to a new city. After Covid shut down everything, my schedule has been wide open. Even before Covid, making adult friends was rough. A couple of years ago, I spent an entire year living in New York City, one of the most active and populated places in the world. Did I make new friends and have fun? Outside of the few acquaintances my wife lined up from her work, no. I attended a few group activities from meetup.com that were reasonably fun. Lasting friendships however, there were exactly zero. I would not consider myself a shy person either. I put the work in.
Enter the Big Fun Place For Adults. I’ve been talking about it for years. At some point, if I talk about it enough it might just become a reality right? If you build it, they will come, right? Someone is going to get us lonely adults together and force us to interact and have fun, right?
Sorry for the long scribe, I’m not actually going to detail out what I want in my BFPFA in this post. That will be rolling that out over the next few entries. For now, suffice it to say that my BFPFA is awesome.
I love the surveys by the way. Just yesterday, someone said among things like music and dancing, their BFP has the “most comfortable shoes.” I absolutely love this idea and it isn’t anything anyone has mentioned before in all the years I’ve offered this survey to people. Wouldn’t it be great to just be comfortable somewhere in clothes you enjoy? I have a phobia against wearing socks with Sandals because it is probably the only fashion faux pas that everyone agrees on. Have you ever actually tried it though? I had some Chaco sandals that when worn with thick warm socks were the most comfortable footwear I’ve ever experienced. Oh well, I guess I’ll continue to suffer for fashion.
Anyway, Thanks for reading and I’ll consider putting together a post that actually answers the question “What is in your Big Fun Place” soon.
-Kyle